The comments to this post are pretty fascinating, to me at least.
More proof, if we really needed it, that some (ok, nearly all) stories pushed by the media are far more complicated than they first appear, which is just one more reason to hesitate with judging the people involved.
Increasingly, we see this tendency to take one isolated piece of video, or audio, or an email, or whatever, and use it to make complete judgments about people we don’t even know, which then magically turns into a “national conversation about ” that we supposedly need to have. And what a coincidence that is, eh?
It bugs me. It should bug you, too. It’s not a good thing.
It sure looks to me like an epidemic of arrogant groupthink, a rush to ignorant judgment, driven by social justice obsessives who view every situation in life through a set of class warfare filters: racism, sexism, heteronorma-whatever-ism, and so on and so forth and what have you.
Lost in all of that is the fact that Ray Rice and his wife Janay are actual people who have to live with what you saw on that video. It’s very real, to them. It’s part of their life. And now that 10 second slice of their long and complicated lives is all over the nation. And people are very quick to judge both Ray and his wife. He’s a scumbag, she’s an idiot for staying with him, they’re both caught in a violent relationship neither can escape, blah blah blah. OK, maybe. Maybe not. We cannot possibly know the answers, and more to the point, it is not really our issue.
Maybe they have, like most of us, encountered serious trouble along the way, and are trying to figure it out because they love each other and are committed to making it work. I don’t know. Do you? is it any of our damn business? Of course not. So why is everybody so quick to pass judgment on Ray Rice as being a serial abuser? Why is everybody mad at Janay? Isn’t she allowed, as an adult woman with a working brain, to decide for herself whether this incident was something to work past, or a show-stopper? Seems that way to me. She is shown spitting in his face in the video. They were both drunk. Do you think, maybe, she feels some remorse for doing that? Or is she supposed to only play the victim card here, and refuse to examine her own actions and her own life, and re-evaluate whether or not she had some changes to make too?
Things that she has said make it sound like she just wants to put this in the past and live her life with Ray, because she loves him and wants to make it work.
If she’s OK with that, then I’m OK with that, and all of you should be, too. Because it isn’t your issue.
"But she might be a victim of serial domestic abuse, and so she can’t judge for herself whether or not to stay with him", you might say. There is that definite possibility. There are also others, which everybody rushes past. Those other possibilities allow for the actual people in this relationship to heal it, and move forward, which is what mature adults try to do, both for the good of the relationship, and their own mental and emotional health.
So it would be best if those of us who have no frickin’ idea what happened here or who they are or why they are together in the first place, but who have watched one video that is 10 seconds long, would try a little harder to shut up once in a while.
It’s their issue. Not the NFL’s issue, not Roger Goodell’s issue, not Barack Obama’s issue, and it most certainly is not your issue. Just because public figures jump in does not mean we have to care about what they say. Have you every stopped to consider why so many people are so quick to weigh in on things that are really not any of their damn business, and do nothing but fan political flames? Think about it.